Fear of Success

How do most bloggers feel as they sit at their computers posting blog entries? I write as if I’m invisible with no expectation of my blog posts being shared beyond family. (Even that thought can be daunting!)

The first time one of my posts was shared by total strangers, I felt fear, surprise, embarrassment, and a small bit of dread. “What had I done?” was a mantra in my head, and I seriously considered deleting the post.

It was a post I’d written in the wee hours of the morning, and I remember editing it for clarity and spelling errors ’til my eyes were crossing. I finally just clicked POST COMMENT and went to bed.  When it was shared and re-posted by others (4-5?), I thought of the guy who had recently posted a blog about marriage before boarding a plane. When he landed and checked his email, he learned his post had gone viral to the tune of 24 million people.

If this ever happens to me, I will surely need to be hospitalized with an acute anxiety attack. I love being anonymous, and cannot imagine the horrors of a “15 minutes of fame” invasion by press, talk-show hosts, etc.

 

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3 thoughts on “Fear of Success

  1. When I wrote my first post, now almost a year ago, it never crossed my mind that someone would actually READ it. I don’t know what I was thinking at the time. There are 60 million bloggers on WordPress, of course someone is going to read it ! Then I wrote another post and someone had the audacity to push the ‘like’ button. On my third post someone actually wrote a comment, “Nice post, well done.” I was in shock. My own opinion of my writing was so low that I couldn’t believe anyone would ever read my stuff, much less actually LIKE it or compliment me on it.

    But those comments, likes, and ratings turned into enormous encouragement for me. It pushed me to learn (for once) about the literary arts and everything that went with it. It pushed me to pay attention to the writing itself and not just the thoughts behind it. The rest is history of course. But there was a point where I had to decide to embrace what was happening or give it up altogether. Once I accepted what was happening, my reads, likes, and comments exploded. Looking back, I’m glad I embraced it. It’s been a wonderful experience. I hope you will embrace it as well. You have such wonderful talent.

    • Thank you for your encouraging words, JT. If I were a flower, the sun just focused a few warm rays on me and the wind ruffled my petals. Blogging has opened a new world to be explored, and it’s interesting to meet people (like you) who touch my heart with stories of their lives.

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